Stacking cups - the next generation

Our assigned visiting time at the orphanage is normally 10am-Noon.  And we are almost always late because of the never ending "DOC-u-mehnts" that have to be delivered here there and everywhere and signed, which our driver usually does on the way to the orphanage because the courthouse is nearby.  So when get there, sometimes we have to wait for them to "prepare" Jenny.  Sometimes she is sitting waiting in our usual meeting place for us.  Today we were close to on time, and she was all ready sitting there waiting for us.

We walk in the door and start greeting her with her birth name and nicknames as we usually do, and she starts laughing, babbling and reaching up to us as if to say "where have you been - welcome back".  We actually had just been there at 6pm last night.  The shouts of welcome were not momentary.  It went on for about five minutes.  All the nurses were coming in to see what she was making the fuss about, and giggling about the way she had latched onto her Mama.  If you want to see what she looks like going on at a great rate, here is a new video from today after she proudly climbed up into a nearby office chair and sat herself down.

Sitting and Rocking from Tom Lococo on Vimeo.

Today was sort of an early Christmas for Jenny.  We were pretty sick of the toys we had brought for her and played with for the last eleven visits, so Tom hiked across town after our visit last night and picked up a couple little surprises.  The main one, is a combination ball, stacking bowls thing that you can play all kinds of games with.  This video doesn't quite do it justice, but she loved it and played with it for quite a while on her own.  The whole set nests inside itself with a little yellow ball with a jingle bell inside in the center.  It reminds us of the Russian nesting dolls so popular in this part of the world.

Nested Balls from Tom Lococo on Vimeo.

The other gift was a Little People farm set with a tractor, cow and cute little farm girl in a pink dress.  That was not good for much except gnawing on the girl and cows feet, so we mostly stuck with the stacking bowls.

Snacktime was the usual frenzy of hunting for Cheerios and clawing onto the juice cup for dear life.  In this video, you can catch a few glimpses of her happy smiles when we managed to pry the cup off of her face.

Drinking Juice 2 from Tom Lococo on Vimeo.

Our final accomplishment of the day was trying to take a mommy/daddy/daughter shot of the three of us since we don't have any yet.  There was no one in the room to help, and we didn't have a tripod, so we improvised using a nearby desk, and continuous shooting mode on the camera to take 10 shots in 10 seconds and hope one would come out good.  Jenny proceeded to be a wriggling worm the whole time resulting in some comical shots.  Here is the closest we got.  See the album link for some other interesting iterations.

From Adoption Trip 1

In other news, our travel is all booked and confirmed for returning home next week, and for Trip 2 that will commence with 4 days of being home.  Can't wait to see our family and home.  Feels like we have been away forever.  Can't wait to get our little Christmas gift and baby New Year all wrapped in one home to the family.

Stacking cups are fun!

It's late, were tired - not a lot of energy to blog here.  We had an afternoon visit because Jenny had something going on in the morning.  (What, we do not know).

Of all the toys and books we brought, the stacking cups are definitely the biggest hit (as they were for our little guy from Ethiopia).


Julia Stacking Cups from Tom Lococo on Vimeo.

That's all for tonight!

We have a court date!

Not as early as we had hoped, but we have a court date and time.  This Friday the 10th at 11am.  Our little buddy was so happy, she sang us this song.

Julias Song from Tom Lococo on Vimeo.

There were other good signs today as well.  When we came in they had her sitting on the floor in he middle of the room.  She made signs to Patty to pick her up, and when she did, there were lots of hugs and kisses to go around.  On this, our tenth visit, she seems to be recognizing us some.

The visit was rather short because of the time we spent at the courthouse signing documents and getting things ready for court.  During the playtime that followed we got some more serious shots of her to counterbalance the wacky side demonstrated above.

And then there was this....

With that tonsillectomy to leave you with, we can say this.

The end of Trip 1 is in sight.  Trip 2 will be following on very closely.  With the Lord's blessing, this little angel will be celebrating New Years with a new family in a new country.

The Joy of Food

Today we saw Jenny in the afternoon because they have swimming time on Saturday's apparently.  Patty took the morning to watch "A Christmas Carol" (Albert Finney's Scrooge) and Tom got caught up on work for his job.

We brought a couple different toys to liven things up.  One was a full size beach ball which surprisingly she was not so interested in.  The other is a set of stacking cups which we had brought once before but she was getting confused thinking they were for drinking.  We allowed her to play with them, and gave her a snack including a drink from a real cup to illustrate the difference.  Here are some of the priceless faces that resulted.

And then came the snacking frenzy...

Eating Time - Cheerios from Tom Lococo on Vimeo.

Drinking Time - Apple Juice from Tom Lococo on Vimeo.

And Jenny wasn't the only one enjoying the available delicacies. We went out to dinner for Pizza and Italian food, and then to the local equivalent of Starbucks coffee house ("Coffee Life") and enjoyed a cappuccino and some dessert.

So no one is starving over here tonight.  Talk to you all soon.

Visit #8

Today our visit with Jenny was short.  The traffic was very busy on the way to the baby house and we also stopped at an administrative office to do some paperwork.  Our normal visiting room was not available so we spent time with her in the main reception area.  We played with toys and practiced her walking for a little.  She likes to get her "airplane" rides from Daddy.  We thought we would give her the day off from the camera flash,   so no new pictures today.  We will be visiting her tomorrow in the afternoon instead of the morning.  We will update all of you and hopefully, have new pictures.

Once we got back to the apartment, we treated ourselves to a lunch at a cafeteria.  The food is good and they have English subtitles on the menu.  This is always helpful.  Then we went to check out a local coffee house.  Luckily, the young girl behind the counter spoke some English.  She was very kind and helpful.  I was able to get a decaf cappuccino and Tom got a decaf latte .  Yay!  We also had a slice of a yummy chocolate raspberry cake.
That's all for today.  Please pray that we get a court date soon.  Thank you so much.

Visit 7 - and answers to questions about our story

Today we visited with Jenny for the 7th time.  She was so full of life and laughter.  Here is a video and picture that captures that light.

Playing on the Bench from Tom Lococo on Vimeo.

It's funny how many questions you get about adoption when you are involved in the process, especially for the third time around.  We've done a couple posts in the last week to try and answer some of those questions.  Here is our last attempt to hit the unanswered questions.


Many people ask us, why have you adopted three times?  Why these countries?  What are you really up to?

The short answer is, we are growing our family in a way we feel called to.  There is a longer answer though, and some important underlying questions that need to be addressed.  This post is written from Tom's perspective but Patty has reviewed and contributed to it as well, so you can view these as our answers.

This blog is part of an adoption story.  It began in May of 2010 when our Lord and savior touched my heart with the fact that our family could and should adopt again.  It began for my wife seven months before when she became aware of the needs of eastern European orphans and the eyes of her heart and mind would not be shut to what she had seen.  Maybe it began in 2001 when we knew it was time to begin our first adoption.  Maybe it began the day of our marriage in May 1994.  Maybe it began the day he formed each of us in our mother’s wombs for each other, for Him, and for these children that were in his plan from the original beginning.

Everyone in this world is gifted with abilities and an opportunity to fulfill the mission God has lain before them in this world.  There are not many things in this life that are sure, but one thing I know for sure is that Patty and I were made with hearts that love children, and those bonds are not affected in the least by whether they were created through our bodies, or whether they came to our family only through the love of our hearts.

A woman in Ethiopia where our second adoptive child came from once told me that adoption is not the answer.  Children are made for their families and international adoption like all other inventions of men is fraught with problems and weaknesses.  It is too complex, too expensive and is open to greed, selfishness and too many other human vices for me to name.  So I agree with our friend from Ethiopia and pray for the day when there are no orphans needing families and thus no need for adoption.  Sadly this won’t likely occur in this world.

In the mean time, those of us touched with a heart for orphans, and the opportunity to do something for these children must do what we can.  We did not create the current world economy or crisis or the bureaucratic governments of this world, but we can work through them to address these problems one child at a time.  This story is part of our attempt to do that.

People ask, "Why adopt internationally when there are needy children here at home?"  "Why these countries?" These are good questions, and they deserve answers.

There are answers, but like adoption, they are complex.  We did not plan this sequence of adoptions or countries.  Circumstances led a different way each time.  Different agencies.  Different countries.  Different kinds of children.  We believe those circumstances were part of our calling and vocation.  You may judge our actions differently, but we experienced forces that went way beyond us, and we have responded as we felt we could and should.

As to the international versus domestic route I can say this.  We feel for the orphans of the USA every bit as much as we do for those from anywhere else in the world.  They are not more or less valuable in God’s eyes.  Domestic adoptions are a different process with different requirements and risks.  We know people including my own parents who have offered their love and homes to the foster care system, some have adopted domestically and we praise and thank them for their efforts and dedication to these children.  Back to the point about gifting and callings, it is simply not where we were led in our efforts to expand our family through adoption.

This leads to a point about charity, volunteerism and development to help children in need.  Adoption is not enough.  It is like trying to plug the holes in a dam that has sprung 10 million leaks.  There are so many relief organizations locally and globally serving the needs of these children and others living below the poverty line.  We all have a role to play in addressing those needs and our family is no exception to that rule.  Giving to these missions and contributing our time and talents where we can, will continue to be part of our story.  Every agency we have worked with in our adoptions remain committed to serving the families and children left behind in addition to those who come home to adoptive families.

People also ask, "Why a special needs adoption?"  Hopefully our prior post about "What It Means To Be Loved" answers a lot of those questions.  If not, all I can say is this.  We are all needy in one way or another.  If nothing else, we are all in need of a Saviour.  There are so many things the world looks down on as bad or limiting that really are just different and in fact "special" in the very best sense of that word.  We must look beyond labels like "special needs" to the beauty and potential in every one of God's human creations.

Enough about the whys and why nots.  Adoption can be a gift and a blessing.  It has been to us so far.  We pray it will continue to be for our family and for all the other adoptive families we know.

Visit 6 - Meal Time

Today our facilitator Tatyana was able to accompany us to the orphanage so that we could find out more about Jenny's daily routine.

Jenny came in dressed in this gorgeous, Christmasy looking dress.

We were hoping with those little red shoes, if she clicked her heels together just right, we could all go home to to Kansas.

After playing together for a while, we were able to go back to "Room #8" with her to watch her eat her lunch and learn from her caretakers how best to feed her.  The room was a beautiful multipurpose nursery setup to care for about 10 children at a time.  Much of the room was taken up with ten little cribs around the perimeter.  The remainder of the room is filled with equipment such as swings and walkers for those who cannot walk on their own.  There are also a couple kid sized tables with chairs where the children are fed.

Two women were helping Jenny eat, while the rest of the children in the room were watching and eagerly waiting their turn.  About six of them sat around the tables with Jenny and were so well behaved as they watched and waited.  Some of them came up to us to say hello or get a little attention while we watched her eat and Tatyana translated each of our questions to the caregivers.  The meal they gave her was very substantial.  The main course was a chicken broth with what looked like big dumplings in it and a slice of bread.  To our surprise there was a second course or dessert which looked to us like a flan or creme brulee, a cooked treat with cheese, wheat, cream and what looked like a carmelized sauce over the top.  Whatever it all was, both plates were empty when they went back to the kitchen.  Jenny is a healthy little eater.  To give you proof is this, we found out today that she weighs 26 pounds.  Our facilitator, who has known her for a while, commented that Jenny has grown a lot in recent months.

The crib where Jenny sleeps was right next to the feeding area.  They were able to tell us about her sleeping schedule and that she naps for a couple hours after lunch each day.

We do not mean to make light of institutional living in any way, and each child's experience and care can vary by their group or facility.  What we can say honestly from everything we have seen of the children in this group, they are well cared for.  The facility is clean.  The children are nicely dressed.  The workers appear to genuinely care for their little charges.

That was visit six.  While we were there Tatyana also visited the local courthouse to submit our paperwork, so hopefully we will have word on a court date for next week soon.